É a crise


— Como foi a entrevista?
— Nada boa. Mas consegui algo que vai me deixar rico, olhe.
— Anúncio de vidente? Vai entrar para o ramo?
— Fui até a madame Águia Branca e minha sorte vai mudar.
— Pelo visto a minha também. Cadê o dinheiro que emprestei?
— Tive que pagar a vidente. Mas não se preocupe, vai receber em dobro. Olhe essa lista.
— Lista?
— Para o despacho da meia-noite, na sexta.
— Era só o que faltava, trocar emprego por despacho!
— A madame foi enfática, preciso arriar a obrigação numa encruzilhada. E para que trabalhar quando se tem dinheiro?
— E você acreditou?
— Preciso de uma ajudinha espiritual. Vamos?
— Para…?
— O despacho, ora. Preciso de ajuda na encruzilhada e um pequeno patrocínio.
— Só para lembrar, quem vai ficar rico aqui é você.
— Divido o que o santo der, meio a meio.
— Vamos ver. Fubá, feijão, arroz, azeite, óleo, farinha, frango, manteiga, alface, Red Label. Santo precisa de Red Label? Não basta uma cachacinha?
— Sei lá, foi a dona quem disse. Deve ser um santo requintado. É só entregar para ele e aguardar a nova vida.
— Como?
— Ele é santo e tem seus meios. Se eu soubesse, virava santo.
— E esse saco aí?
— São as coisas.
— Não precisava de ajuda financeira?
— Pendurei na sua conta, lá na vendinha. Meia noite?
— Escute uma coisa…
— Não se atrase. Eles não gostam de furos.
Meia-noite.

— Deixe-me ver os materiais. O que é isso?
— A obrigação do santo. Espero que goste.
— Não tem frango aí, só osso com pele por cima.
— Você queria que fizesse despacho de estômago vazio? Não tenho emprego.
— A madame disse isso?
— Não, mas…
— E essa farinha seca?
— A manteiga está muito cara. Além do mais, farinha é farofa sem gosto e santo não tem papilas gustativas. Acende as velas.
— Cotoco já é demais! Acredita mesmo que vai ficar rico sendo mão de vaca?
— A vidente não erra.
— Ela sabe que você comeu o frango, não fez a farofa e roubou as velas da igreja?
— .
— A garrafa está vazia!
— Queria que me entalasse?
— Acho que o santo vai mandar um boleto de cobrança.
— Ele não bebe e virou santo por isso, por perdoar as falhas. É só simbolismo.
— Vamos embora.
— Ih, esqueci o mais importante, o caldo de galinha.
— Não tem vergonha de enganar o santo?
— Mas cortaram a água e está tudo pela hora da morte. É só esfarelar por cima para dar um gostinho, nem vai perceber.
Um mês depois.

— Rico?
— Que nada. Empresta algum?
— E aquele último do mês passado, o santo?
— Tive que voltar na Águia Branca. Acho que aquele caldo não era cem por cento de galinha, não deu certo. Mas o próximo, ah, vai. Sexta-feira, combinado?
— Tenho cara de santo?
— Ah, empresta algum. Você também vai ficar rico.
— Eu?
— Meio a meio. E ela disse que se você ajudar…

49 comentários:

Juliana Vermelho Martins disse...

Enquanto isso, a madame fica rica :-)
Muito bom!

Cleyton Cabral disse...

Oieeeee. =D

A Mina do cara! disse...

Legal!
Tenho uma sessão de crônicas chamada Conversa Fiada no meu blog que acho que vai gostar.
No estilo desta sua.
abraço

Cássio Amaral disse...

Angel, sacada muito boa a do caldo.... Risos.

Abração meu irmão.

Márcia Clara disse...

Ha ha ha. Ecxelente.
Que sacada perfeita. O pobre não tem nem dinheiro para a comida do santo, quanto mais para ele mesmo.
O jeito é caldo de frango mesmo.

Angel, esta está de parabéns!

Secreta disse...

Nem sempre tomamos as decisões certas para melhorar a nossa vida!

Teresa Augusto Shanor disse...

Oi Angel Cabeza.

Parece que alguns não entendem de jeito nenhum que a única maneira de ganhar dinheiro é trabalhando e que a única coisa que cai do céu é chuvaaaaa. Aí, vira alvo de aproveitadores. Belo texto com forte reflexão.

Camila de Souza disse...

Ei, Angel,
Não poderia ser diferente, né não?

Que descrição perfeita. Parece que eu estava do outro lado observando tudinho.

Beijos

Gustavo disse...

Despacho mal feito santo vai cobrar. huahuahua. Muito muito boa. Até a vela do santo é usada. Pobre é uma desgraça mesmo.

fã!

Elaine Amorim Petckov disse...

Excelência de escrita, este é o que vejo aqui.

Que crônica irreverente, leve, sutil, quase celestial. E que despacho mal feito. Mãe de santo assim temos aos montes em sampa, e acredito que no Rio também.

Lerei e indicarei você a todos os meus onhecidos.

Kleber Cruz disse...

Eu também já fiz um despacho só com velinhas. Frango tá caro coma inflação.
Uma ótima visão humorística de uma realidade brasileira: a dificuldade financeira. E atinge até as mandingas. Lembro de quando o frango era 1 real. Ai, ai, quantos despachos fizeram?

Bela crônica de um grande escritor e poeta. Que a sua pena jamais perca a tinta.

Abraços.

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Antônio Martins disse...

Você já está na seleção dos meus favoritos como um dos melhores escritores que sigo. Sempre que entro aqui vislumbro-me com sua capacidade de transformar algo simples em poesia. Desta vez ri bastante com o despacho. De onde tiraste esta idéia? Fenomenal.

Abraços.

Enya disse...

– E então, como foi a entrevista?
nossa que texto ótimo adorei.
Vc é o poeta do seculo 21.

Júlio Antônio disse...

Seu tato para a comédia é ótimo. Simples, mas cetreiro. Precisamos de mais escritores assim.

E livros, onde acho?

Abraços!

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Cacá disse...

O cara tinha que pedir a madame para dividir a fortuna dela com ele. Ela é que tá ficando rica. hahaha! Ótimo! Abraço. Paz e bem.

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Oi, esse santo, coitado, vai acabar fazendo o serviço de graça, dada a insistência. Acho que nós, escritores, poetas e afins, precisamos mesmo é de insistir com o santo. Madame sabe das coisas...
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Angel, aqui no ES. temos uma grande empresa de transportes, chamada Aguia Branca. O mais incrível, faz muitos despachos. Essa madame aqui seria mais indicada que a tal, não é mesmo? Divertiu-me. Agradável de ler. Abraço! clara-mei.

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